"Send Prior Service Vets over 55

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists. (You can't be older than 42 to join the military.)


They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds  off
to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a
military unit until you're at least 35.

For  starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10  seconds. Old guys only
think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more  than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't  lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a
dangerous soldier. "My  back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry!" We
are impatient and maybe  letting us kill some asshole that desperately
deserves it will make us feel  better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m.


Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I  said,
"I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up
killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldn't spill the  beans because we'd forget where we put
them. In fact, name, rank, and serial  number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed  and
yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed an  appreciation for
guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house,  away
>from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the  obstacle course however. I've been in combat
and didn't see a single 20-foot  wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I
ever do any pushups after  completing basic training. I can hear the Drill
Sgt. now, "Get down and give me  .... er ... one."
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never
seen anyone outrun a bullet.


An 18-year-old has  the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to start up a  conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out
that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his  eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little  more
about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked us on
September 11. The last  thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of
million pissed off old  farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know
that their best years are  already behind them!!!.


If nothing else, put us on  the border and we will have it secured the first
night.

Share this with your senior friends. It's  purposely in big type so they can
read it.