Have you  ever spoken and wished that you could
Immediately take the words back... Or  that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few  people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my  husband and three kids in tow and
Asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a  shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went  back.
My husband didn't say a word...
He knew better.

SECOND  TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of  golf
Balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After  browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the
Good-looking  gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could
Help me. Without  thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like
Playing with men's  balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed  by a store that sold a
Variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the  display case,
The boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I  replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh  hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To  this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While  in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
Some pent-up  energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving  looks of
Disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she  did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror,  she looked me in the eye and said in a
Voice just as threatening, "If you  don't let me go right now, I will
Tell Grandma that I saw you
Kissing  Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this  enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I  mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with
My  daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind  me,
Were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY: This one made me think of Bobby
Have you ever asked  your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of  problems with potty
Training and I was on him constantly.
One day we  stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
In between errands.
It was very  busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something  funny,
So of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.  Then
I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked  him
If he needed to go,
And he said "No". I kept thinking
"Oh Lord,  that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
With me." Then I  said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
Accident?"
"No," he  replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
Because the smell  was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an  accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
Bent over,  spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people  nearly choked to death on their tacos
Laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants  and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best  laugh
They'd ever had!